(with Buddy Matt Coughlin)
BIOGRAPHY
Mary was born in Jacksonville, Florida to the Flaherty family, but grew up on Long Island in a verbally and emotionally abusive family. Her father was a narcissist and her mother suffered from depression. Mary was a sickly child likely due to the fact that both parents smoked heavily around her.
Her first husband comfortably reflected the familiar, narcissistic male figure. The verbal and emotional abuse returned, and even her children were allowed to disrespect her.
After her divorce, through a mutual friend, she met Buddy Coughlin. Over time, they realized they shared similar experiences in their background. He asked her out after months and months of conversation together and they were finally married after ten years of dating. He thinks she’s the best person he’s ever met.
After they moved to Pleasantville, New York in Westchester County, she settled in—enjoying singing in the church choir, seeing live music, dancing, reading, writing, cooking, and interior design. She also enjoyed being the roadie for her singer/songwriter husband, and he enjoys her poetry.
POETRY
Grandma
Grandma felt the fine soft and sheepskin fabric of my cloak
with her feeble arthritic fingers
Smiling she replied, “Nice goods” in her Irish brogue
remembering her old singer sewing machine
with the black cast iron foot pedal
no longer in use
She sewed and mended for her family of eight
Grandpa was a fireman and came home very late
with a bit of whiskey on his breath
Oh, but we need to check his pockets, she thought
before there’s not enough to feed the likes of us
She quickly shoo’d him off to bed
and reached into his thread worn trousers
and found nothing but a gaping hole
Note from Buddy: This was the first piece that Mary wrote to share with her poetry group. Also, the first piece that showed me that poetry did not have to rhyme to elicit an emotion.
The Tool Belt
We met at the cellar door at my friend Cathy’s house.
She was newly divorced and rented out the upper floors.
I was visiting her and we wanted to go to the movie.
Cathy said, “My tenant gets the Times why don’t you and ask him if we can look at it?”
I knocked on his door and when he opened it, I said, “Hi I’m Mary, Cathy’s friend. We’re going to the movies. Can we borrow your newspaper?”
He was wearing cut off jeans and flip flops. (Umm . . . Nice legs!)
Don Henley was playing. “Heart of the Matter”
The green shag rug was freshly vacuumed and there was a vanilla scent in the air.
A few days later he came down for coffee and told us he thought we were going to invite him to go to the movie. He must have been disappointed!
We talked about the dating scene and he said “There is nothing wrong with casual sex.”
I was surprised and thought “What kind of guy is this?”
Cathy was having trouble closing her back door and asked him if he could look at it.
He went upstairs and came down wearing his tool belt. (He looked sexy!)
I helped him hold the door and he accidentally brushed against me. (I felt electricity!)
What a concept! Man and woman working together helping each other.
I was smitten by Buddy in his tool belt.
Years after our wedding we were fixing the closet door in our new apartment and we smiled Remembering . . .
We still keep it casual . . .
Mary L Coughlin
October 4, 2018
Loss
Removal
Chemo
Battle
Weak
Vulnerable
Hopeful
Hair
Pillow
Strands
Brush
Bunches
Despair
Coping
Wigs
Hats
Scarfs
Earrings
Creating
Love
Support
Healing
Renewal
Character
Growth
Mary L. Coughlin
August 28, 2023
Hot Meals at the Hospital
Teasing attendant
Delivered food on a tray
Placed on an adjustable table
Quickie Breakfast
Sweet tangy orange juice
Coffee with a croissant
Eating eggs flipped and runny
crispy bacon and home fried potatoes
Lunch was an appetizer of savory morsels of ham
Laid on large whole wheat bread
Plenty of Dijon mustard
Looked forward to the main course
Steamy fresh salmon complemented by
earthy shoots of green asparagus
Fluffy buttery mashed potatoes
Happy Ending – double chocolate trifle
Satisfied, craved a cigarette
Mary L Coughlin
October 5, 2023
Note from Buddy: Mary has NEVER smoked cigarettes or anything else.
Gone Before
Going to talk about some feelings I’m avoiding.
Wake up each day to four different painkillers.
Comfort myself by being a part of poetry, choir and bible study.
Watch movies and take part in the local music scene.
Read uplifting books to each other in bed.
When the time comes.
A long table with a lace covering.
Blue and white Johnson Brothers China.
Centerpiece of tiny bluebells surrounded by cream-colored baby’s breath.
Stronger.
No longer in pain.
Mom showing me to a seat with her, Dad and brother Denny.
Sharing love with all those that’ve gone before.
Mary L Coughlin
February 26, 2025
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FROM BUDDY MATT COUGHLIN
BIOGRAPHY
Born on a Friday night in New Jersey, USA. Kidnapped by my mother at six to hide out in a small town in eastern South Dakota. I found a new stepfather who was well-to-do with restaurants all around. He was a gambler and soon Mom had to work for the competition across Main Street. From the split-level above the Sears catalog store we landed in a one-room shack near the edge of town. We couldn’t even get a trailer. Stepdad disappeared and Mom decided it was safe – Back to Jersey City. I learned bass guitar. Played my first bar at the age of 14. Glamour!
INTERVIEW
confetti: What sparked your interest in poetry and music, and who was your earliest influence?
Buddy Matt Coughlin (BMC): When I was little, the radio played all the time at home. Mom listened to a show called The Hit Parade. Of course Elvis. In South Dakota, I would hang at the record store where you could listen before you bought. My first purchase was Bo Diddley by Bo Diddley with Jerome on maracas. Imagine the thrill I felt playing four shows in his backup band back in the early 70s!
confetti: How would you characterize your writing style? And your music style? What are you working on currently, and what can readers expect from you in the future?
(BMC): I don’t know that I have a “STYLE”. Mostly I try to to say something important to people, but there have been times I’ve tried to see how many big words I could use and still generate some emotion.
confetti: Who is your favorite poet and why?
(BMC): I always say that I don’t like poetry. But . . . Besides my wife, Mary, who showed me what poetry was for, Brian Bilston posts his work on Facebook and is very clever.
confetti: Is poetry still relevant in our society? How? How do you think poetry can be used to challenge or subvert societal or personal norms or expectations?
(BMC): I think poetry, and/or songwriting can be very powerful as a weapon of positive change. I don’t know that poetry could do the opposite, but I do know that songs certainly can cast a negative light on our reality.
confetti: Favorite poem or style of poetry?
(BMC): My favorite poem is the first one I learned as a child. Keep in mind I was a precocious child more intellectually and humorously advanced than most around me.
I eat my peas with honey.
I’ve done it all my life.
It may sound kind of funny.
But it keeps them on the knife.
confetti: What are you currently reading?
(BMC): Since my son died in 2016 and now, my wife, Mary, passing away just this past June, I’m really not able to read or focus on anything more than a magazine article. I was able to read a book about songwriting say three years ago.
confetti: What are your three favorite books?
(BMC): Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass, The Prophet by Khalil Gibran and most anything by Ray Bradbury or Kurt Vonnegut.
confetti: What are your three favorite movies?
(BMC): Walt Disney’s version of Alice in Wonderland, the first two Alien movies and Field of Dreams.
confetti: What is your favorite song of all time?
(BMC): That’s a tough one. There are my favorite Beatles songs. My favorite Rolling Stones songs. “This Land Is Your Land.” And many of the songs I’ve written, recorded and released onto the Internet.
confetti: What advice would you give to young writers/poets/musicians?
(BMC): Write. To paraphrase Vonnegut, “Make art.“
POETRY & SONGS
I could run out of tears
I see you waiting, waiting in a darkened room. hearing everything going on around you,
but you can’t respond.
You’re waiting for your escort to take you home,
but she’s not coming yet.
You thought you’d be home already but you’re still waiting,
waiting in that darkened room.
The pain is constant, greater than you’ve ever felt, with brief moments of relief,
respite from the fear.
Your faith tells you that the pain will end soon,
but the fear tells you “Suppose it doesn’t? “.
The worst is that you have no choice but to wait.
Just tell me did I love you well
Just tell me that I loved you well
Do you wanna hear something funny?
I woke up in the night and felt you there.
Do you want to hear something sad?
I woke up in the night and felt you there.
I could run out of tears
Buddy Matt Coughlin
For Mary 9/19/1944 – 6/20/2025
Mary Louise
Verse 1:
When I leave you in the morning it’s a little bit like I died
But I feel you on my body and I see you in my eyes
There’s a little bit of you in every thing I do Mary Lou
Verse 2:
When I’m home late in the evening Dinner’s on the stove
You’re sitting by the window in your slippers and your robe
There’s a whole lot of truth in everything you do Mary Lou
Bridge:
You are beautiful, You are God’s work
You are my wife, my lover, my best friend
My little girl, like oxygen to me
Mary Louise
Mary Louise
Verse 3:
When you’re lying there beside me I whisper in your ear
That I’ll love you ’til forever and I’ll always hold you dear
And I know that it’s true when I wake up with you Mary Lou
Bridge:
You are beautiful, You are God’s work
You are my wife, my lover, my best friend
My little girl, like oxygen to me
Mary Louise
Mary Louise
Mary Louise
Mary
© February 2001 M. Coughlin (Buddy Matt Coughlin)
Note: I wrote this in my car at work about a year after we were married. Had no instruments. Came home, played it as I imagined it. She was a bit embarrassed but loved it too.
Toasted Bread
(I like a girl because she has a toaster)
Intro Figure:
I like the way you sleep with me And I like the way you wake up
And I like that toasted bread you make In the morning
I like the way you say my name The way you steal the blanket
And the way you whisper “Come to me” In the morning
The flowers all around the house The time we had to chase the mouse
Late at night when we go out Your Sexy Low-Cut blouse
I like the way you sleep with me And I like the way you wake up
And I like that toasted bread with cheese In the morning
Figure:
I always liked your blue eyes girl I like the way they shine
You smile and make that toasted bread In the morning
The times you stay up all night long The day you tried that wig-hat on
Perfect sense of right and wrong I crashed in love with you head on (Crash noise)
I like the way you sleep with me And I like the way you wake up
And I like that toasted bread you make In the morning
Figure:
I like this little blonde hair girl Kisses oh so sweet
The toasted bread you make for me Every morning
I like you when you say my name I like your little feet
You walk to me with toasted bread In the morning
The time we kissed the Blarney Stone You held me by my funny bone
Always find my happy zone You don’t leave me alone
(Pause, Knock 3X “Hey what ya doin in there?”)
Rest:
I always like that toasted bread Sweet butter, cheese and love
You bring that toasted bread to me In the morning
I like the way you sleep with me And I like the way you wake up
And I like that toasted bread you make In the morning
Outro Figure:
© M. Coughlin Nov 2, 2021
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Thanks Buddy ! These are wonderful ! I’m blown away !
(Which is hard to do at my current weight).
What a wonderful tribute,
The best person I ever met. I miss her terribly
I am beyond honored to be able to read all this, even the parts I’m already familiar with. I’m glad the world had Mary in it . She will always be a part of it for any who knew her even a tiny bit. Come on, world. Just be thankful for Mary and Buddy making the world better just by being. Thank you for sharing Mary with us, Buddy.
What you say is beautiful. Thankbyou.
Thank you for this. It means more than you could ever know.